Anyway about me: I'm Nat Cat, mostly a fan-artist. My current fandoms are SCP, and.. that's about it. I mean also Ao3 fanfictions I read but I,, hardly ever get around to drawing fanart of the works I read. (I should really get started with it some day..) I'm a full-time student irl, though I haven't been giving like 2 fucks about any of my schoolwork hehe Is it controvesial to say that I think that the majority of all humans are sadistic in some sort of capacity? I feel like everything about life circles back to power and feeling better or important than other people. When it comes to the word 'Sadism' people usually think of BDSM or sex or whatever, which don't get me wrong has everything to do with power. But I'm talking more about school-yard bullying, or the feeling of joy one feels when yelling at someone. Maybe it's because of how I feel so resentful towards people who were mean to me in the past, but anger is a main driving in the majority of things in life, in the news headlines, etc. Whole wars are fought and people do gruesome and crazy shit to each other, violence and what-not is so prevelant in society I'm pretty sure everyone gets off to it in some sort of way or another
ah, trying to make my own journal section is hard, so i'm just gonna start word-vomiting. old-school websites like this where you have to try and make an entire blog thing journal thing yourself is pretty fun, this type of thing should be implemented in classes, like any sort of highschool computer science class. I'd love this as an assignment. \Compared to more main-stream social media sites, these sorts of homemade websites feels so much more user-friendly and heartful instead of mindless media churning..
they say home is where the heart is, and it's sure as hell ain't here the funnest things about art is coming up with fun and deep-seeming titles for your artwork anyway anyone ever tell you how hard loosing weight is lol, for people on the outside it seems pretty simple, just eat less, move more. And you know what, they are right. Just dieting, ie. eating a 250 calorie breakfast, skipping lunch, and eating like an omellette, banana, 3 prunes, babybell cheese, that puts you at around 900-1000 calories in a day, sometimes even less. I've seen people online call this disordered behavior, how it's hardly enough for a toddler let alone a teenager. But whatevs man! I wanna look skinny, and petite. 132 lbs at 5'2, dosen't look /too/ bad but god dayum man! it's those candid photos
KYAAAA, omg some1 already found this website :D hii, glad you like my art! hope to make more of it in the future, probably in the summer once I'm out of school and have all the time and freedom in the world to have fun and things :cryingemoji: I wasn't expecting someone to find this website that quickly, like I made this site yesterday night hehe, uhh ignore any weird or off-putting stuff I write here I swear I'm a normal person lolz Anyway, did you know that you can live like a complete and absolute degenerate at home, as long as you make sure to shower and groom yourself in the morning before you have to go out in public, no one will ever find out. cuz that's what I've been doing for these past 2 years of school haha When I get home from campus, I feel like a cicada or a banana shedding it's skin. Making this website is such a blast! I feel really smart copy-and-pasting code from other websites on the internet and from coding guides hehe I should probably draw more art, and more sentimental pieces, it's the only thing that's keeping me from being in the bucket of all other blogs online that have nothing to do with their lives than complain
I really adore Nagata Kabi's line of work, her autobiographical mangas. Because she's such a freaking loser, her life sucks! but she's still so open about it, I feel like being that open and raw in the publishing world already means that you've got atleast half of a spine. And that itself is very impressive. I really reallyy want to draw atleast a few personal pieces about my school-life, after I gradute that is. But god, I'm kinda hesitant to because it's very very very pathetic and embarrassing in objective terms. I'm talking about like, sitting alone in the bathroom during lunch in junior high. and pretending to do work in the library, so people would think i'm just a studious busy student rather than some degenerate social reject with no friends :I Who knows, I'll probably have to atleast 'cleanse' or 'sanitize' atleast half of what I'd ever plan on writing/drawing about.
i feel like a lot of things in life in regards to a sense of attachment or bond or
'crush' on someone involves the lack of information one has with a person.
so if someone online has you on a pedestal,feels some sort of one-sided strong bond with you
just be openly weird and degenerate as possible! it takes the appeal of the 'mystery' in regards
to who you are as a person, and when it's laid all out in the open, the appeal is gone!
and they'll eventually loose that sense of obsession and attachment towards you hehe
(speaking from experience :1000milestaresoldiermeme:)
it's weird, i'm not even a big celebrity or youtuber of the sort. my tumblr blog legit
only has like 170 followers, compared to other sites that's miniscule, but i still managed
to have more than 1 person be all weird and buddy-buddy personal with me. One of the most
flattering experiences that I've had so far on my tumblr, is that a mutual of mine invited me
to go hiking with them in St. Petersburg, Russia. After I reblogged one of their
photos of the city with 'everyone evacuate St. Petersburg!!' because I
recognized the town square. Like wow, you really trust that I'm not some
sort of weirdo degenerate?? what would we had done next if I were
actually living in St. Petersburg?? Would we go out for tea at
ur house? so many questions..
I mean I guess it's somewhat my fault since I keep
indulging in those sorts of behaviors, following their private twitter accounts.
commenting and liking posts about their own personal lives. When I first started
my tumblr blogs and my social media prescence I went into it with just harsh boundaries,
I wanted absolutely none of my personal life online. But overtime it turns out.. bitching about
your irl issues to internet strangers, who have absolutely no power over you irl, who can do
nothing to you in regards to what you say. it's pretty fun, like free therapty tbh
I'd rather saddle strangers with my personal issues than confide in a friend or a family member,
in fear that whatever I may say harms them in some sort of capacity.
Like hearing your friend vent to you about their shitty family life and troubles,
it makes you sad. anyway I'm going on a tangent here
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this website is lowkey inspired by the screenshots of Eric Harris's AoL page,
(back when it was still up and running it is, you can't find it anywhere these days it's been purged. LOL)
You can find screenshots of it @ acolumbinesite.com, it's ran by this single guy, he actually does a pretty
good job of updating it and keeping his information objective/useful.
how to get good at art!
1. be mentally ill
more specifically: become extremely miserable
and depressed when you turn around 10-12,
be extremely isolated, and chronically online.
It's like I landed on the jackpot of
coping mechanisms to deal with my isolation
during that era, drawing! and drawing
for hours and hours, everyday.
pizza
the dude's website is just a cesspool of teenage hatred for everything and anyone
it kinda reminds me of my own diary entries from back when I was in junior high.
'I hate everything!!1! my friend said this one small thing and I hate her!! I hate
her forever!!!!! I hate my school, my teachers, my parents, everything. Every single
small inconvience or trouble I may face, it makes me want to OFF!! MYSELF!!!!'
I'm not even exageratting. That paired with chronic anemia and medication that made me
feel like my stomach was turning inside out everyday, along with your typical 12-14 year old
self loathing/self consioussness, and not to mention listening to freaking JULIE. every single day,
no wonder you wanted to off yourself girlie! you're focusing too much on the bad.
The two dude's houses were also fancy as shit too, both two-story buildings.
if I were them I would've nawttt done NBK, my house is way too nice
NBK 4/20, is still crazy as shit whenever I think about it too hard,
like both boys were bound for college, if i remember correctly atleast one of them
was already accepted into some sort of college by around the time 4/20 came around.
Both had parents who were upper middle class, had a good education.
the more I read about it, it seems like they also had good social lives. friends.
People say that it's more due to bullying, but there's kids in the US who've been bullied,
had far worse things done to them, and never shot up a freaking school. so there's most likely
and outlining factor in what made those two dickheads do what they did lol >>
(think they were both just evil looollll)
April 25, 2025. Friday (1:15PM)
hiiiii