hiiiii
this website is under work :P
Nat Cat, Nat Cattian,
call me whatever variation of the name!
it's a pseudo-name anywayz..
I like art and SCP, weird abstract poetry,
gore and shock sites, the degenerate
hellsites of the internet.. and more!
Follow my tumblr, nooot my twitter
this site best viewed on desktop
Plans 4 this website!!1!
- add in archives of my art, sorted by
subject matter,
with more info about the processszzzz
- bulletin board with media I like/recommend
- archive of the drawings I recieved in my strawpageeee :D
- journal section, [ I rlly dislike
tumblr's formatting and restrictions, lame!!!!!!]
- gender envy shrine
April 24, 2025. Thursday
Anyway about me: I'm Nat Cat, mostly a fan-artist. My current fandoms are SCP,
and.. that's about it. I mean also Ao3 fanfictions I read but I,, hardly ever
get around to drawing fanart of the works I read. (I should really get started
with it some day..) I'm a full-time student irl, though I haven't been giving
like 2 fucks about any of my schoolwork hehe
Is it controvesial to say that I think that the majority of all humans are sadistic
in some sort of capacity? I feel like everything about life circles back to power and
feeling better or important than other people. When it comes to the word 'Sadism' people
usually think of BDSM or sex or whatever, which don't get me wrong has everything to do
with power. But I'm talking more about school-yard bullying, or the feeling of joy one
feels when yelling at someone. Maybe it's because of how I feel so resentful towards
people who were mean to me in the past, but anger is a main driving in the majority of
things in life, in the news headlines, etc. Whole wars are fought and people do gruesome
and crazy shit to each other, violence and what-not is so prevelant in society I'm pretty
sure everyone gets off to it in some sort of way or another
ah, trying to make my own journal section is hard,
so i'm just gonna start word-vomiting.
old-school websites like this where you have to try and make an
entire blog thing journal thing yourself is pretty fun, this type
of thing should be implemented in classes, like any sort of highschool
computer science class. I'd love this as an assignment.
\Compared to more main-stream social media sites, these sorts of
homemade websites feels so much more user-friendly and heartful
instead of mindless media churning..
April 25, 2025. Friday
they say home is where the heart is, and it's sure as hell ain't here
the funnest things about art is coming up with fun and deep-seeming titles for your artwork
anyway anyone ever tell you how hard loosing weight is lol, for people on the outside
it seems pretty simple, just eat less, move more. And you know what, they are right.
Just dieting, ie. eating a 250 calorie breakfast, skipping lunch, and eating like an
omellette, banana, 3 prunes, babybell cheese, that puts you at around 900-1000 calories
in a day, sometimes even less. I've seen people online call this disordered behavior,
how it's hardly enough for a toddler let alone a teenager. But whatevs man! I wanna look
skinny, and petite. 132 lbs at 5'2, dosen't look /too/ bad but god dayum man! it's those
candid photos, I look good in mirrors, shockingly good personally. And in photos I take
myself from certain angles, I look fya!! But damn, those cursed yearbook photos and any
sort of photo taken from afar back. I'm pretty sure it's focal length that makes me look
so snatched in photos I personally took, while in actuality I'm wonderbread lol
I was able to go down by ike 7 pounds in 2 weeks, 135-128. but then i started slacking
off again and now I'm back at 132 :< need to lock back in.. My main goal right now
is to be 105-100lbs by the time I see my doctor again in July, so I have around 3
months to hit that goal. pretty feasible. It's shocking to see my weight hit 128
the first time, weight loss seemed kinda unreachable but then when i crossed
the 130's I was like holy crap, I can actually make this work
A relative told me 'mind over body' in regards to weight loss, and how these 2
students in China did 1000 squats and afterwards promptly experienced organ
failure. 1. LOL 2. why on earth would they need to feel like they have to do
1000 squats, dumbasses
But looking at people who do crazy ass hell diets, things like that, I do
firmly believe that you can achieve anything in your life if you just put
your mind to it.
I went from 132 to 118 during the summer of last year actually, so I've done it
once and I'll do it again! fo real!!1! Wish I could remember what measures
I actually took during those 3 months though, I do remember that I kept
spamming toasted sourdough bread, with pate and butter, and two slices of
Kirkland roasted turkey. (pretty good ngl) and just stopping eating once
I felt not hungry anymore. I saw someone online say that the goal of eating
was not to feel 'full' but to not feel hungry anymore, I'd say that's good
advice. I loss that weight with no exercise what-so-ever as well! go me..
Exercising is such a pain in my ass though! I'm not allowed to walk outside
by myself anymore, pretty sure it's because my mother has watched one too
many netflix true crime series, she think's I'm gonna get kidnapped and
dismembered the moment I step outside. The first 30 minutes on my treadmill
make me want to off myself, but afterwards it's sorta smooth sailing.
Pilates and ab workouts, aren't so bad either.
Main reasons why I yearn to be skinny:
People treat you better, at the start of this school year I was 118lbs and
had the best haircut I've had so far in my lifetime (before I eventually
chopped it off due to stress but that's neither here nor there!!)
I just feel like people were more charitable towards me, for exampleee
in my physics class I just straight up did nawt do my class's
project, my teacher should've given me a 0 but gave me a 2 instead
If I were say, like, 180lbs double chinned would he be that nice to me?
My brain says no, he'd assume I was lazy and incapable of schoolwork
I have social anxiety, I'm not good with people. So I feel like if I
were pretty, and skinny people would be far more willing to
overlook those flaws, and even misconstrute them into something
positive. Considering female gender roles, being 'awkward' could
be instead interpreted as being 'demure' and 'shy' if I were
a pretty petite girl.
I want people to be nice to me, to not yell at me, to not be mean to me
I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt when I say something
weird, and I wish for people to see those flaws as something endearing instead
There's entire multi-billion dollar industries in the world, that are centered
completely on a person's looks. Modeling giants, the acting/film industry..
When's the last time you've seen a 'fat' female anime character
who wasn't just there for laughs and jokes?
Not to mention all the studies and surveys done on the matter.
I feel like I've already been fortunate to been born
with features that match up to Western ideals of looks.
I might as well do as much as I can to wake advantage
of it.
Sometimes I wish I were been born a guy
so I could escape social stereotypes and roles, but I'll
write about that some other day lol
April 25, Friday (twice! because I have freetime)
KYAAAA, omg some1 already found this website :D hii,
glad you like my art! hope to make more of it in the future,
probably in the summer once I'm out of school and have
all the time and freedom in the world to have fun and things :cryingemoji:
I wasn't expecting someone to find this website that quickly, like I
made this site yesterday night hehe, uhh ignore any weird or
off-putting stuff I write here I swear I'm a normal person lolz
Anyway, did you know that you can live like a complete and absolute
degenerate at home, as long as you make sure to shower and groom yourself
in the morning before you have to go out in public, no one will ever
find out. cuz that's what I've been doing for these past 2 years of school haha
When I get home from campus, I feel like a cicada
or a banana shedding
it's skin.
Making this website is such a blast! I feel really smart copy-and-pasting
code from other websites on the internet and from coding guides hehe
I should probably draw more art, and more sentimental pieces,
it's the only thing that's keeping me from being in the bucket
of all other blogs online that have nothing to do with their
lives than complain
I really adore Nagata Kabi's line of work, her autobiographical mangas.
Because she's such a freaking loser, her life sucks!
but she's still so open about it, I feel like being that
open and raw in the publishing world already means that
you've got atleast half of a spine. And that itself is very
impressive. I really reallyy want to draw atleast a few
personal pieces about my school-life, after I gradute that
is. But god, I'm kinda hesitant to because it's very
very very pathetic and embarrassing in objective terms.
I'm talking about like, sitting alone in the bathroom
during lunch in junior high. and pretending to do work in
the library, so people would think i'm just a studious
busy student rather than some degenerate social reject
with no friends :I
Who knows, I'll probably have to atleast 'cleanse'
or 'sanitize' atleast half of what I'd ever plan
on writing/drawing about.
April 25, 2025. Friday
how to get rid of a one-sided
parasocial bond some1
has with you! 101
i feel like a lot of things in life in regards to a sense of attachment or bond or
'crush' on someone involves the lack of information one has with a person.
so if someone online has you on a pedestal,feels some sort of one-sided strong bond with you
just be openly weird and degenerate as possible! it takes the appeal of the 'mystery' in regards
to who you are as a person, and when it's laid all out in the open, the appeal is gone!
and they'll eventually loose that sense of obsession and attachment towards you hehe
(speaking from experience :1000milestaresoldiermeme:)
it's weird, i'm not even a big celebrity or youtuber of the sort. my tumblr blog legit
only has like 170 followers, compared to other sites that's miniscule, but i still managed
to have more than 1 person be all weird and buddy-buddy personal with me. One of the most
flattering experiences that I've had so far on my tumblr, is that a mutual of mine invited me
to go hiking with them in St. Petersburg, Russia. After I reblogged one of their
photos of the city with 'everyone evacuate St. Petersburg!!' because I
recognized the town square. Like wow, you really trust that I'm not some
sort of weirdo degenerate?? what would we had done next if I were
actually living in St. Petersburg?? Would we go out for tea at
ur house? so many questions..
I mean I guess it's somewhat my fault since I keep
indulging in those sorts of behaviors, following their private twitter accounts.
commenting and liking posts about their own personal lives. When I first started
my tumblr blogs and my social media prescence I went into it with just harsh boundaries,
I wanted absolutely none of my personal life online. But overtime it turns out.. bitching about
your irl issues to internet strangers, who have absolutely no power over you irl, who can do
nothing to you in regards to what you say. it's pretty fun, like free therapty tbh
I'd rather saddle strangers with my personal issues than confide in a friend or a family member,
in fear that whatever I may say harms them in some sort of capacity.
Like hearing your friend vent to you about their shitty family life and troubles,
it makes you sad. anyway I'm going on a tangent here
.
.
.
.
.
this website is lowkey inspired by the screenshots of Eric Harris's AoL page,
(back when it was still up and running it is, you can't find it anywhere these days it's been purged. LOL)
You can find screenshots of it @ acolumbinesite.com, it's ran by this single guy, he actually does a pretty
good job of updating it and keeping his information objective/useful.
the dude's website is just a cesspool of teenage hatred for everything and anyone
it kinda reminds me of my own diary entries from back when I was in junior high.
'I hate everything!!1! my friend said this one small thing and I hate her!! I hate
her forever!!!!! I hate my school, my teachers, my parents, everything. Every single
small inconvience or trouble I may face, it makes me want to OFF!! MYSELF!!!!'
I'm not even exageratting. That paired with chronic anemia and medication that made me
feel like my stomach was turning inside out everyday, along with your typical 12-14 year old
self loathing/self consioussness, and not to mention listening to freaking JULIE. every single day,
no wonder you wanted to off yourself girlie! you're focusing too much on the bad.
The two dude's houses were also fancy as shit too, both two-story buildings.
if I were them I would've nawttt done NBK, my house is way too nice
NBK 4/20, is still crazy as shit whenever I think about it too hard,
like both boys were bound for college, if i remember correctly atleast one of them
was already accepted into some sort of college by around the time 4/20 came around.
Both had parents who were upper middle class, had a good education.
the more I read about it, it seems like they also had good social lives. friends.
People say that it's more due to bullying, but there's kids in the US who've been bullied,
had far worse things done to them, and never shot up a freaking school. so there's most likely
and outlining factor in what made those two dickheads do what they did lol >>
my tumblr archive
my comms
- add in archives of my art, sorted by
subject matter,
with more info about the processszzzz
- bulletin board with media I like/recommend
- archive of the drawings I recieved in my strawpageeee :D
- journal section, [ I rlly dislike
tumblr's formatting and restrictions, lame!!!!!!]
- gender envy shrine
April 24, 2025. Thursday
Anyway about me: I'm Nat Cat, mostly a fan-artist. My current fandoms are SCP,
and.. that's about it. I mean also Ao3 fanfictions I read but I,, hardly ever
get around to drawing fanart of the works I read. (I should really get started
with it some day..) I'm a full-time student irl, though I haven't been giving
like 2 fucks about any of my schoolwork hehe
Is it controvesial to say that I think that the majority of all humans are sadistic
in some sort of capacity? I feel like everything about life circles back to power and
feeling better or important than other people. When it comes to the word 'Sadism' people
usually think of BDSM or sex or whatever, which don't get me wrong has everything to do
with power. But I'm talking more about school-yard bullying, or the feeling of joy one
feels when yelling at someone. Maybe it's because of how I feel so resentful towards
people who were mean to me in the past, but anger is a main driving in the majority of
things in life, in the news headlines, etc. Whole wars are fought and people do gruesome
and crazy shit to each other, violence and what-not is so prevelant in society I'm pretty
sure everyone gets off to it in some sort of way or another
ah, trying to make my own journal section is hard,
so i'm just gonna start word-vomiting.
old-school websites like this where you have to try and make an
entire blog thing journal thing yourself is pretty fun, this type
of thing should be implemented in classes, like any sort of highschool
computer science class. I'd love this as an assignment.
\Compared to more main-stream social media sites, these sorts of
homemade websites feels so much more user-friendly and heartful
instead of mindless media churning..
April 25, 2025. Friday
they say home is where the heart is, and it's sure as hell ain't here
the funnest things about art is coming up with fun and deep-seeming titles for your artwork
anyway anyone ever tell you how hard loosing weight is lol, for people on the outside
it seems pretty simple, just eat less, move more. And you know what, they are right.
Just dieting, ie. eating a 250 calorie breakfast, skipping lunch, and eating like an
omellette, banana, 3 prunes, babybell cheese, that puts you at around 900-1000 calories
in a day, sometimes even less. I've seen people online call this disordered behavior,
how it's hardly enough for a toddler let alone a teenager. But whatevs man! I wanna look
skinny, and petite. 132 lbs at 5'2, dosen't look /too/ bad but god dayum man! it's those
candid photos, I look good in mirrors, shockingly good personally. And in photos I take
myself from certain angles, I look fya!! But damn, those cursed yearbook photos and any
sort of photo taken from afar back. I'm pretty sure it's focal length that makes me look
so snatched in photos I personally took, while in actuality I'm wonderbread lol
I was able to go down by ike 7 pounds in 2 weeks, 135-128. but then i started slacking
off again and now I'm back at 132 :< need to lock back in.. My main goal right now
is to be 105-100lbs by the time I see my doctor again in July, so I have around 3
months to hit that goal. pretty feasible. It's shocking to see my weight hit 128
the first time, weight loss seemed kinda unreachable but then when i crossed
the 130's I was like holy crap, I can actually make this work
A relative told me 'mind over body' in regards to weight loss, and how these 2
students in China did 1000 squats and afterwards promptly experienced organ
failure. 1. LOL 2. why on earth would they need to feel like they have to do
1000 squats, dumbasses
But looking at people who do crazy ass hell diets, things like that, I do
firmly believe that you can achieve anything in your life if you just put
your mind to it.
I went from 132 to 118 during the summer of last year actually, so I've done it
once and I'll do it again! fo real!!1! Wish I could remember what measures
I actually took during those 3 months though, I do remember that I kept
spamming toasted sourdough bread, with pate and butter, and two slices of
Kirkland roasted turkey. (pretty good ngl) and just stopping eating once
I felt not hungry anymore. I saw someone online say that the goal of eating
was not to feel 'full' but to not feel hungry anymore, I'd say that's good
advice. I loss that weight with no exercise what-so-ever as well! go me..
Exercising is such a pain in my ass though! I'm not allowed to walk outside
by myself anymore, pretty sure it's because my mother has watched one too
many netflix true crime series, she think's I'm gonna get kidnapped and
dismembered the moment I step outside. The first 30 minutes on my treadmill
make me want to off myself, but afterwards it's sorta smooth sailing.
Pilates and ab workouts, aren't so bad either.
Main reasons why I yearn to be skinny:
People treat you better, at the start of this school year I was 118lbs and
had the best haircut I've had so far in my lifetime (before I eventually
chopped it off due to stress but that's neither here nor there!!)
I just feel like people were more charitable towards me, for exampleee
in my physics class I just straight up did nawt do my class's
project, my teacher should've given me a 0 but gave me a 2 instead
If I were say, like, 180lbs double chinned would he be that nice to me?
My brain says no, he'd assume I was lazy and incapable of schoolwork
I have social anxiety, I'm not good with people. So I feel like if I
were pretty, and skinny people would be far more willing to
overlook those flaws, and even misconstrute them into something
positive. Considering female gender roles, being 'awkward' could
be instead interpreted as being 'demure' and 'shy' if I were
a pretty petite girl.
I want people to be nice to me, to not yell at me, to not be mean to me
I want people to give me the benefit of the doubt when I say something
weird, and I wish for people to see those flaws as something endearing instead
There's entire multi-billion dollar industries in the world, that are centered
completely on a person's looks. Modeling giants, the acting/film industry..
When's the last time you've seen a 'fat' female anime character
who wasn't just there for laughs and jokes?
Not to mention all the studies and surveys done on the matter.
I feel like I've already been fortunate to been born
with features that match up to Western ideals of looks.
I might as well do as much as I can to wake advantage
of it.
Sometimes I wish I were been born a guy
so I could escape social stereotypes and roles, but I'll
write about that some other day lol
April 25, Friday (twice! because I have freetime)
KYAAAA, omg some1 already found this website :D hii,
glad you like my art! hope to make more of it in the future,
probably in the summer once I'm out of school and have
all the time and freedom in the world to have fun and things :cryingemoji:
I wasn't expecting someone to find this website that quickly, like I
made this site yesterday night hehe, uhh ignore any weird or
off-putting stuff I write here I swear I'm a normal person lolz
Anyway, did you know that you can live like a complete and absolute
degenerate at home, as long as you make sure to shower and groom yourself
in the morning before you have to go out in public, no one will ever
find out. cuz that's what I've been doing for these past 2 years of school haha
When I get home from campus, I feel like a cicada
or a banana shedding
it's skin.
Making this website is such a blast! I feel really smart copy-and-pasting
code from other websites on the internet and from coding guides hehe
I should probably draw more art, and more sentimental pieces,
it's the only thing that's keeping me from being in the bucket
of all other blogs online that have nothing to do with their
lives than complain
I really adore Nagata Kabi's line of work, her autobiographical mangas.
Because she's such a freaking loser, her life sucks!
but she's still so open about it, I feel like being that
open and raw in the publishing world already means that
you've got atleast half of a spine. And that itself is very
impressive. I really reallyy want to draw atleast a few
personal pieces about my school-life, after I gradute that
is. But god, I'm kinda hesitant to because it's very
very very pathetic and embarrassing in objective terms.
I'm talking about like, sitting alone in the bathroom
during lunch in junior high. and pretending to do work in
the library, so people would think i'm just a studious
busy student rather than some degenerate social reject
with no friends :I
Who knows, I'll probably have to atleast 'cleanse'
or 'sanitize' atleast half of what I'd ever plan
on writing/drawing about.
April 25, 2025. Friday
how to get rid of a one-sided
parasocial bond some1
has with you! 101
i feel like a lot of things in life in regards to a sense of attachment or bond or
'crush' on someone involves the lack of information one has with a person.
so if someone online has you on a pedestal,feels some sort of one-sided strong bond with you
just be openly weird and degenerate as possible! it takes the appeal of the 'mystery' in regards
to who you are as a person, and when it's laid all out in the open, the appeal is gone!
and they'll eventually loose that sense of obsession and attachment towards you hehe
(speaking from experience :1000milestaresoldiermeme:)
it's weird, i'm not even a big celebrity or youtuber of the sort. my tumblr blog legit
only has like 170 followers, compared to other sites that's miniscule, but i still managed
to have more than 1 person be all weird and buddy-buddy personal with me. One of the most
flattering experiences that I've had so far on my tumblr, is that a mutual of mine invited me
to go hiking with them in St. Petersburg, Russia. After I reblogged one of their
photos of the city with 'everyone evacuate St. Petersburg!!' because I
recognized the town square. Like wow, you really trust that I'm not some
sort of weirdo degenerate?? what would we had done next if I were
actually living in St. Petersburg?? Would we go out for tea at
ur house? so many questions..
I mean I guess it's somewhat my fault since I keep
indulging in those sorts of behaviors, following their private twitter accounts.
commenting and liking posts about their own personal lives. When I first started
my tumblr blogs and my social media prescence I went into it with just harsh boundaries,
I wanted absolutely none of my personal life online. But overtime it turns out.. bitching about
your irl issues to internet strangers, who have absolutely no power over you irl, who can do
nothing to you in regards to what you say. it's pretty fun, like free therapty tbh
I'd rather saddle strangers with my personal issues than confide in a friend or a family member,
in fear that whatever I may say harms them in some sort of capacity.
Like hearing your friend vent to you about their shitty family life and troubles,
it makes you sad. anyway I'm going on a tangent here
.
.
.
.
.
this website is lowkey inspired by the screenshots of Eric Harris's AoL page,
(back when it was still up and running it is, you can't find it anywhere these days it's been purged. LOL)
You can find screenshots of it @ acolumbinesite.com, it's ran by this single guy, he actually does a pretty
good job of updating it and keeping his information objective/useful.
the dude's website is just a cesspool of teenage hatred for everything and anyone
it kinda reminds me of my own diary entries from back when I was in junior high.
'I hate everything!!1! my friend said this one small thing and I hate her!! I hate
her forever!!!!! I hate my school, my teachers, my parents, everything. Every single
small inconvience or trouble I may face, it makes me want to OFF!! MYSELF!!!!'
I'm not even exageratting. That paired with chronic anemia and medication that made me
feel like my stomach was turning inside out everyday, along with your typical 12-14 year old
self loathing/self consioussness, and not to mention listening to freaking JULIE. every single day,
no wonder you wanted to off yourself girlie! you're focusing too much on the bad.
The two dude's houses were also fancy as shit too, both two-story buildings.
if I were them I would've nawttt done NBK, my house is way too nice
NBK 4/20, is still crazy as shit whenever I think about it too hard,
like both boys were bound for college, if i remember correctly atleast one of them
was already accepted into some sort of college by around the time 4/20 came around.
Both had parents who were upper middle class, had a good education.
the more I read about it, it seems like they also had good social lives. friends.
People say that it's more due to bullying, but there's kids in the US who've been bullied,
had far worse things done to them, and never shot up a freaking school. so there's most likely
and outlining factor in what made those two dickheads do what they did lol >>
my tumblr archive
my comms